


Under The Mistletoe

by lesbianoodle



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Phase One (Gorillaz)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 01:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9099151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianoodle/pseuds/lesbianoodle
Summary: 2D and Murdoc actually settle an argument like adults. 2doc is canonically abusive. I do not condone their relationship. (Set on Christmas morning, so I'm counting it as a Christmas fic.)





	

"Well, what the flipping heck did you expect me to say, you dullard?" It's Christmas morning and already 2D has managed to piss off a only slightly hungover Murdoc with just a few simple words. Now, Murdoc is yelling at him and making sure that the whole house knows about it. 

2D looks like he wasn't expecting to be yelled at, his back pressed against the wall and his thumbnail in his mouth. It hasn't gone unnoticed by Noodle, who was playing in the corner of the room before the fight started, and has now covered her hands with her ears to ignore them. She gets to her feet and runs towards to kitchen- to the comfort of Russel's arms. 

"Murdoc and 2-Chee are fighting again." The voice of Noodle is distant, the sound of her talking to Russel in the kitchen only heard for a second as the door swung open. It closes behind her and her voice becomes muffled and untranslatable. Too quiet to hear. 

"Shit." 2D mutters because he doesn't like Noodle to be exposed to them fighting. More importantly, Russel doesn't want her to hear them fighting and now he's going to kick 2D's ass. And Murdoc's. Maybe both at the same time. It doesn't matter now, the damage is already done. 2D is already chewing anxiously on his thumbnail, biting until blood bubbles on his skin. 

"You wanna take this outside?" Murdoc says, still pissed off but determined to continue this argument away from young ears. Obligingly, 2D nods his head and trails after him as he slinks down the corridor and out of the building. Outside, the weather is dismal and depressing. The skies are cloudy grey and miserable. Fucking typical of England. Even at Christmas. 

"You want a smoke?" 2D asks, already digging around in his pocket for his half-empty pack and a light. He lights one with shaky hands, already cold from the low temperature and lack of jacket, and wedges it into his mouth. He looks at Murdoc who shrugs and takes one from him, swearing at the unfamiliar lighter before he gets it to work. 

Murdoc inhales and breathes his words out with smoke. "Thanks, faceache." 

The smoke and the words hang around in the air for a second longer than he expects them to. He sounds drawling and sarcastic, which was intentional, but they've painted a look onto 2D's face that can only be described as a cross between frustrated and confused. 2D takes two puffs on his cigarette before he manages to think of an answer. 

"I don't like it when you call me that. It's confusin'." Smoke curls from his lips as he talks, "Sometimes, you call me pretty. Sometimes, I'm a faceache. Can't you make up your mind?" 

"Maybe how pretty you are depends on how annoying you're being." Murdoc grunts. He doesn't say it out loud but as he looks at 2D now, he's reminded of what he saw in him the first time 2D turned to him in the car park. He's reminded of what he sees in 2D every time he really looks at him and starts fancying him all over again. The man really is very pretty. Not many people would look that lovely with mismatched teeth and obnoxiously blue hair and a cigarette resting between his index and middle finger but 2D really, really does. 

"Ugh." 2D makes a noise of mild frustration and tries to pull down the sleeves of his shirt so that they cover more of his arms, "Why did we come out here again? I can't remember. Flippin' heck, it's cold." 

The weather is truly freezing outside and 2D is beginning to shiver. They're going to have to wrap up this fight quickly so that one or both of them can storm back inside. Murdoc folds his arms and is reminded of the jacket he's wearing. Wordlessly, he slips the jacket off and hands it to 2D. Tells him to shut up before he can say thanks. 

"You pissed me off by saying you want to be my boyfriend or something stupid like that." Murdoc reminds him, watching 2D slip his jacket on, "Honestly, we shag a couple of times and have one or two snogs and suddenly you're all over me like a girl or something." 

"I think you're just scared." 2D says, defiantly. 

"Of what?" Murdoc scoffs, "You?" 

"Scared to actually go out with somebody. That's why you got so mad when I said about it and smashed that bottle. You're lucky nobody got hurt by the glass on the floor." 2D scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. And God, Murdoc hates it when he's actually smart and right and doesn't seem to know it because it's sexy as hell.

There's actually some truth to what he's saying: Murdoc might have experimented a lot over the years in bathroom stalls and some even less appealing places but he's never had a boyfriend. He's never had a steady relationship with anyone, regardless of gender, because it's easier to just have one night stands he can ditch the morning after. Dating is never something Murdoc has wanted to do- and he's still not sure that he wants to do it now. 

"You're lucky I stopped you from stepping in the glass." He grumbles because he's not sure what else to say. He doesn't want to come out and say that 2D is right, Murdoc is scared to go out with anybody because he knows he'd be a crap- shudder- boyfriend. But then he can't think of any other reason to explain why he freaked out like that. 

"Muds... If you don't want to do this anymore, we can just break it off." 2D sounds like he really doesn't want to break it off, like he's hoping that Murdoc will say no. 

"I..." Murdoc considers it briefly before shaking his head, "I don't want to break it off. What would you do without me, paperbrain? Besides, you ain't that bad a shag. I've had better, of course. But you're not one of the worst." 

"That means you like it." 2D looks smug about it for a second, "Hang on, does this mean you ain't just going to break up with me? 'Cos that means you're goin' to have to go out with me. I don't want to be your beneficial or whatever."

"You mean friends with benefits, love." Murdoc doesn't catch his tone softening in time and swears under his breath, "And... I guess if you really want to go out with me, I could give it a shot. But it's not going to be fancy dates and shit, you got that?"

2D bobs his head in agreement, bright hair bouncing in the wind, and finishes his cigarette. He puts it out against the wall of the studio and drops it onto the ground, crunching it down with his heel. It's littered amongst the corpses of their other smoke breaks, since both of them just drop cigarettes when they're done with them- Russel hates that they don't dispose of them properly in the ash tray he got especially and worries about Noodle picking them up. Speaking of which, Murdoc has some questions to ask:

"Are we going to have to tell Noodle and Russel that I'm... Your boyfriend or whatever it was that you said?" He tries to say it in an off-hand way but hesitates before the "b" word unsurely, like he doesn't know how to use it. Jeez, dating is going to be hard. 

"I guess." 2D shrugs at him, "It's not goin' to change much, is it? You already do boyfriend-y things like holdin' my hair back when I throw up and tellin' me I look pretty."

"Are those things that boyfriends are supposed to do?" Murdoc frowns. 

"I dunno." 2D says, "We'll just make it up as we go along, I guess. Like music." 

Music is something that he seems to understand and the comparison seems to relax him a little, as he stops standing so upright and slumps a little against the wall. He seems content that they've finished their argument and to Murdoc's annoyance, he realises that they solved it through talking instead of yelling or hitting. Damn. Is this what being somebody's- ugh- boyfriend is like? Figuring crap out instead of just yelling and sulking? 

"Yeah, like music." Murdoc agrees, reluctantly, unable to think of a better analogy. 

Finally starting to feel the cold from giving up his jacket, he throws away his cigarette too and the pair of them head back inside. Before they've even made it through the lobby, a ten year old dressed head to toe in tinsel barrels into them and starts speaking quickly, slipping into her native tongue and losing them immediately. Murdoc tells her to slow down. Speak English. 

"You guys no fighting now?" Noodle checks, looking at them for any signs of lingering anger. 

"No." 2D confirms, "We ain't fightin' anymore, Noods. We made up." 

This seems to delight the girl, who eagerly tells them her and Russel have been making a Christmas dinner together for them to have later today. She says that she was allowed to peel the potatoes and starts chattering on and on, while they listen obediently. Murdoc can't help but smile at how excited she is to celebrate the first Christmas that she can remember- their first Christmas as a family, Russel keeps saying like the sappy idiot he is. He glances at 2D, who looks content, and accidentally meets one of his empty eyes. 2D grins crookedly at him.

Noodle leads the way into the front room, where she has hung far too many blinking lights around the room- probably enough to induce one of 2D's migraines but he looks pleased anyway. She's talking, talking, talking and then she halts suddenly. She points upwards. 

"2-Chee, Murdoc-san, you're under mistletoe!" She calls, teasingly, (and indeed there is a sprig stuck up in the doorframe), "Russel says people under it kiss each other. It's the rules!" 

The kitchen door has been propped open again and the sound of Russel chuckling in the distance does not go unnoticed. He even leaves the kitchen, still stirring a pot of vegetables in with one hand, just to see the pair of them under the mistletoe. 

2D looks up at the mistletoe unblinking but Murdoc doesn't hesitate. 

He turns to 2D, grabs his skinny hips to push him up against the doorframe, and plants a good old-fashioned snog on his lips for the sake of the watching fans. 2D retaliates, slipping his tongue into his mouth for half a second, and resting one hand on Murdoc's shoulder. The height difference is incredible but 2D is slouching and Murdoc wears heeled shoes. After a kiss that lasted seconds but felt like hours, Murdoc draws back and looks at Noodle. 

She looks delighted and wraps her arms around Murdoc's waist. "You like him! I knew it!" 

And the sound of Russel laughing doesn't disappear even after he's closed the kitchen door behind him. It's muffled but it's still there, not cruel or judgemental, but just very amused by what he's just witnessed. Noodle just keeps repeating those same six words, over and over.


End file.
